It's been a while. Really, I've just been preoccupied. I had no idea I would struggle so much having two kids to take care of. I was concerned about how Julia would feel when we brought Elias home. I never thought that I would be the one dealing with such intense emotions. I think in the first week or so, I made Julia feel worse than she did because I was a basketcase... always worried that if I was holding Elias too much, Julia would be jealous. Or if I was playing with Julia, Elias would feel lonely. The guilt was eating me up. I would be lying if I said I'm over it now, but it has eased some. Having Julia back in school has helped a lot. I was trying so hard to make her summer fun that I was stressing myself out over it and instead of going out to have fun on the playground, Julia found herself dealing with a high-strung, low-patience mother that she didn't recognize. Now that she is back in preschool, she's not sitting in front of the TV watching reruns of Dora the Explorer all day because that's all her mommy can manage. She's playing and learning and getting exercise and I don't care what anyone says - the price is totally worth it.
Part of what has made me so stressed out is the fact that Elias is not an easy baby. I was spoiled with Julia, who seemingly never cried. Elias has some sort of colic, although I am sure that there are babies out there who have it worse. He cries and screams incessantly 4-6 nights a week from early evening until midnight or later. When he's not sleeping during the day, he's fussy. He won't sleep for more than a half hour or so in a swing or bouncy seat. Sometimes I just have to let him cry because I have to get Julia in bed, or dinner just needs to be made. And then I feel like I am failing him. It hurts me to see him hurting and know that there isn't anything I can do to make him feel better. I just pray that holding him while he cries (whenever I'm able) brings him some measure of comfort, no matter how small.
As for his general health, he is thriving. Despite the colicky episodes, he has gained more than three pounds already! Last I weighed him he was 12.8 lbs. Granted, he was wearing a diaper and a onesie, but still he weighs more than 12 lbs. His belly star is all healed and the surgeon said he looked great at his two week check-up. He also did super well on his newborn physical.
There is still the question of whether he has BWS or another syndrome. He has many of the markers for BWS: high birth weight, omphalocele, low blood sugar at birth, stork bites on his forehead and face. However, he is lacking two of the most prominent markers: the ear pits/grooves and the oversized tongue. I have noticed that his tongue is lopsided and seems to be growing larger only on his right side. At times I think I see it in his face and then at times I think I might be seeing things. The medical term for overgrowth of one side of the body is hemihypertrophy or hemihyperplasia. It could be just his tongue, his whole face, a limb, or the entire side of his body. Eudes thinks I should let the doctors decide, but I have done nothing but research about everything related to omphalocele since March and I know my babies. That being said, nothing can be done about any of it right now. If he has BWS, he will have a blood test every 6 weeks and abdominal ultrasounds every three months until he's about 7 years old to check for cancer. If he does get cancer, it is usually cureable. If he doesn't develop cancer by the age of 7 or 8, his risk decreases to that of any other kid. So, totally manageable as far as syndromes go. We were told that a geneticist will contact us to set up an appointment for Elias at around three months of age. Haven't heard from them yet, but sure we will soon.
